The Grief Recovery Method Â®
One-to-one sessions, group sessions and support on how to assist children
If you have clicked through to this page on the web site, the likelihood is that you are in pain and your heart is broken. Your pain may be due to the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a divorce or it may be due to some other personal loss. The fact is that you may be searching for help and you can find it within the Grief Recovery Method.
It is the mission of the Grief Recovery Method, and my mission personally, to help as many grievers as possible in the shortest possible time. There are many options available for you:
You can start the Grief Recovery Method at any time. You may have found that time does not heal (contrary to what people have told you). There are people who are in as much pain even after 10, 20, 30 or more years after their loss. It's good to know that the feelings and emotions you have are a normal response to the loss you have experienced. It is a sad fact that despite that we will all go through grief and pain at some point in our lives but there is often no-one to teach and prepare us for this. Unfortunately, although grief is our natural human response to loss, the way society deals with it is intellectual and does not work. There is nothing wrong with your mind it is your heart that is in pain. You cannot fix a dripping tap with a paintbrush. Making use of effective tools and information are vital for recovery. With the Grief Recovery Method you can shift from the head and into heart. After experiencing the method personally I can truly say that this Method moves you beyond the pain caused by loss. This is why I am so passionate to share it with others through my transformational work.
Loss does not have to be limited to death. There are many types of losses associated with grief including the following:
- Relationship break ups
- Moving house
- Financial problems
- Growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional family
And, of course, there are many others
The grief recovery method
Is not a therapy
Although going through the grief recovery process is therapeutic, it is not a therapy. There is no need in the Grief Recovery Method to analyze the information of your losses in any way. You are led directly to the actions that lead you to feeling better.
Is not bereavement counseling or counseling
The Grief Recovery Method specializes in recovery, and to take all the actions and steps necessary to complete anything left unresolved following a loss. It is not a counseling relationship.
Is not a "treatment" or cure
Having grief and pain in your life does not mean that you are sick or ill. Therefore you do not need to be cured. You do need a way to feel better. I cannot promise you that you will stop feeling sad, however by taking all the actions and steps within The Grief Recovery Method the pain is far less intense and, for many, the grief has ended completely. In fact, there are thousands of people who have experienced The Grief Recovery Method who describe the positive outcomes they have themselves experienced after attending the programme.
It is a method that allows you to truly move beyond your pain in a safe, nurturing environment facilitated by an experienced Certified Grief Recovery Specialist. You may choose to experience the Grief Recovery Method personally via the one-to-one personal sessions that I offer, or you may choose to attend an Outreach Programme with others in a group. Either way, you will be gently guided through the method each step of the way.
The Grief Recovery Method was developed by John W. James and Russell Friedman who are the founders of the Grief Recovery Institute in the USA. Together they have assisted in the recovery of thousands of people over the past 30 years. It is way for you to take the small steps and actions that lead to completion of any unresolved issues you may have relating to your loss.
While you may find much information about grief itself, there is very little information about recovery. Your emotional states linked to your grief do not mean that there is anything wrong with your intellect. Grief is defined as the "conflicting emotions that follow the ending or change in familiar patterns of behaviour." This complex emotional state has nothing to do with your intellect. It is your heart that is broken here, not your mind. You would go straight to the Emergency Department to get help if you broke your arm; maybe it is time now to receive help for your broken heart. The Grief Recovery Method is a way for you to do this.
As with much of my transformational work, it is experiential rather than intellectual which makes it difficult to describe if you have not yet experienced it. Probably the best description I can give you is that it is an education. I teach, in a very specific way, in a series of sessions to recognize some of the misinformation and myths you may have learned. You will also discover what your short term coping behaviours are and have been, and will be given the opportunity to take the actions necessary to move out of your pain and into recovery.
The fact is that many people do not know what to say to someone in pain and invariably say things that are often inappropriate or even insulting:
- "He is out of pain now so you should feel happy"
- "You are young and will soon find someone else"
- "You can always have another baby"
- "Get a dog"
Statements like these can cause more pain for someone already suffering.
As individuals we are not taught how to deal with grief. Society provides much information about grief (all intellectual), however there is little information available on how to cope with it. You are likely to have found that people generally use sweeping statements that may be intellectually correct yet are emotionally empty and without personal meaning to you in your grief. Unresolved grief impedes your ability to function normally and effectively in life.
In the Grief Recovery Sessions you will be using The Grief Recovery Handbook. The handbook helps you to choose which loss to work on first and foremost. The Grief Recovery Method gives you the tools and allows you to take the actions needed to regain the feeling of living fully in the world again and, I can say from experience that it really is a life changing transformational programme.
Personal one-to-one sessions for grief recovery
With Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Isobel McArthur
We will spend focused one-to-one time together over seven weekly sessions. During these sessions you will learn how to use specific tools to help move you beyond the pain of your grief and into recovery. It is important to know that these sessions are not therapy yet they are therapeutic in their application. As you use the tools and carry out tasks suggested to you, I know from experience, you can experience tremendous positive shifts in your emotional state. The fact that the method has been used successfully with thousands of grievers all over the world, also gives reassurance of its effectiveness. We will be using the Grief Recovery Handbook throughout the sessions and I will set weekly assignments that you will want to complete if you wish the process to be truly effective.
Throughout the sessions I will encourage you to review all the losses you have gone through in your life. You will also have the opportunity to review beliefs and behaviours. I will demonstrate tools that allow you to complete the pain associated with the losses you have experienced and to release it in a safe, supportive way.
Group workshop (Outreach Method) for grief recovery
With Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Isobel McArthur
There will also be opportunities for you to attend a group with other people who will be dealing with their own grief and working on their own recovery process. This programme takes place in a safe environment that allows you to be honest and open about your feelings without judgement. You will be led by the hand and heart through these sessions, taking small steps towards moving you beyond the pain. All of the feelings you have, the heartbreak, and the pain are a normal human reaction to loss.
The sessions take place over 12 weeks. It is important to say that this is not a support group, counselling, or therapy. It is a specific effective process and method that allows you to take the actions necessary to reach recovery from grief. You will finally have the tools to help yourself. During the Programme you will be given assignments to complete weekly using the Grief Recovery Handbook as a reference.
Your Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Isobel McAthur, has received specialised training with an approved trainer from the Grief Recovery Institute. Only those that have received this training are authorised to run this Method.
Helping children deal with loss
With Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, Isobel McArthur
This is a wonderful method for adults to help support children to deal with losses such as:
- the death of a parent or other family member
- a member of the family who has a terminal illness
- the loss of a pet
- moving home
- an injury or illness that inhibits that impacts a child's life
- and much more
To watch a child grieve and not know what to do to help them is extremely difficult for all people present in the child's life: parents, teachers, relatives, friends, and caregivers. Nowadays more children have gone through the experience of seeing their parents divorce or separate. I know from my personal experience of spending many years in Dubai, that living in an expat world many children are forced to move home and away from the familiar many times, but this can also happen in the same country as families have to move to chase work opportunities. Loss does not only have to be death.
The 'Helping Children Deal with Loss' programme is a six week workshop that will give you the tools and opportunity to help children deal with loss of any kind. The programme is based on the principles of the Grief Recovery Method. During the sessions you will also be asked to complete assignments. You will also receive a copy of the book 'When Children Grieve' by John James and Russell Friedman.
The six myths of grief
Below I have described six myths of grief that you may hear many times from friends, family, Doctors, and people who really do not know what else to say to you.
Time heals all wounds
Unfortunately this is not true. There are people in as much pain many years after their loss as they were when it first occurred. In grief, time is just time. The Grief Recovery Method gives you information and tools so that you no longer have to sit in the pain.
Don't feel bad
How can you not feel bad if you do not know how to deal with the pain of loss?
It is a fact that people are uncomfortable with other people's grief. There is a tendency for grievers to be embarrassed with their emotions as the unresolved grief may arise in social situations. Therefore a griever may isolate themselves to grieve alone.
Replace the loss
Buy a puppy! Or get a cat. Nothing can replace the loss you have experienced. A puppy cannot replace your partner, family member, relationship, job or home.
Be strong for others
How can you be strong for others when you are feeling so bad yourself? This behaviour encourages a griever to push down and suppress their emotions to give the impression that they are coping when inside they are in turmoil and pain.
This is a distractor to prevent you from focusing on the loss. The unresolved grief and pain is really just being pushed under the carpet and will resurface at some point.
You do not have to grieve alone.
The Grief Recovery Method Outreach Programme, the One-to-One Personal Sessions and the Helping Children sessions all provide a way to move beyond the pain caused by loss.
You may be grieving in some way, or you may know someone who is grieving and in pain. Now there is help. I look forward to welcoming you and facilitating the Grief Recovery Method.
To find out more, or for an informal chat to explore what's best for you, please do contact Isobel >